Movin' On Up

In my opinion, the second draft is MUCH better than the first. I think it explains the plot better. I think the characters are more well rounded and they have more struggles/changes in the arc. I think Wendy's overall arc from a lost orphan to sacrificing her life for her brother in the end is way more interesting and easy to sympathize with.

Problems I see right away...

Even though Wendy is supposed to be very intelligent, I still want to make her sound a little bit more her age, because right now I have dialogue for her that makes her sound like she's 20 or older, especially in the end.

I think Ardon should be more upset in the end. I can still do more with his character, maybe make him more of a villain type character. I don't think he should be so willing to help in the end or so easily persuaded. He's been trying to get this project going for 9 years, and after that much time, no one would want to give up without a very serious fight, especially now that he has proof it actually works!

I think the conflict between Corryn/Corryn's father/Wendy is solved a little to easily. Wendy sees how her brother's life is ruined, but she forgives Corryn right away. Corryn has been suffering from her father's brutality for years, but she forgives him right away. These conflicts can be stretched a little longer, without boring the audience, to give the characters time to adjust to the situation and make decisions.

More to come...

Script Becomes Paranormal!

Extra Extra, read all about it.

I'm one for taking chances in order to save ideas. The last one wasn't working. I know it. But there is a way to make it better, and that is to go back to the beginning. I had an idea, before I thought of this as a real experiment. I had an idea that Wendy was reincarnated, and she learned about her mother through those memories. Simple, right? In talking to people, that idea got lost and it became what I wrote in the first draft. I've decided for the sake of the script, to delve into the real world of science fiction and play around with paranormal ideas. My father told me a story. Back when Drexel was just the Institute of science and technology, there were scientists there who were studying reincarnation, and they were trying to figure out the science behind it. And now, so does Corryn and Ardon.

Corryn and Ardon know that if they can find a scientific answer from reincarnation, they can find a way to duplicate it manually. Since I don't have much time to save my script, I'm going to keep the old story about Corryn dying, and now she comes back through her daughter, Wendy. Now Wendy helps Ardon try to figure out how it happened. What Wendy is more concerned over, however, is Corryn's life. Wendy almost loses herself and allowing Corryn's past to consume her present, but eventually Wendy has to let go and move on.

Answer to a previous Problem

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=grZuwo_YlY0

I actually had it right in the first draft. I can't have Wendy not understand the information now in her head because the memories are attached, and those memories trigger answers. She understands the answers because she can remember how she got them through Corryn's memories.

But this brings us to another problem. I can't have this exist in the world as it is today. I can't have the audience believe that this is taking place now. For there to be some kind of hope that all of this is possible, I need to put the entire story far enough into the future (let's just say "somewhere in the near future" as Gattaga puts it) so the audience can't question what's happening because if it's in the future, who knows? Maybe it is possible if other things are made possible in that future.

Wendy doesn't have to struggle with not understanding because there is so much going on that she needs to deal with. She's not a normal child, she finds out that her mother did an experiment on her when she was a baby, her sister resents her, and a lot of other stuff i added in the new draft.

Deeper Meaning

I'm always trying to find amazing new concepts and incredibly deep meanings to put into my stories, but in taking a step back, I found something. My story I have right now isn't about the science. It isn't about getting the audience to understand memory and how it works.

It's about the love of parents and children. Wendy's mom sacrificed her for an experiment, and now all Wendy wants is to know that she loved her. Nikki is so concerned about Wendy that all Jenn wants to know is that she's loved too. That's the beauty of Jenn's character. She's not just there to be a bitch. She wants attention, because deep down, she's been living with an 8 year old genius and no matter what she does, she feels like she can't get Nikki's attention. AND furthermore, Corryn is even struggling with the parent acceptance. In her mind, her father is a bastard, but all she really wanted was to be loved. They say there's nothing stronger than a parent's love for their child. But what happens when children question that love? How far will they go to make sure it's there?

Corryn is alive in this draft. Wendy finds out in the midpoint, and her drive is to find out why Corryn did what she did. And because Jenn can sympathize with this intense need to find acceptance from a parent, Jenn comes around and helps her. Sadie is gone. Ardon is more so the bad guy who only had one passion...to finish the experiment. Corryn abandoned the experiment when she realized what she did, but Ardon kept going, and now that he has Wendy, there's hope again for him.

Short Film!

Just had an idea during the class to make my short film come together. Small town usually have those summer festivals with small competitions. Every year, all the competitions Eric joins, he wins 2nd place. This year, he gets yet another 2nd place trophy. So he comes up with the idea to lose the rest of the contests. The other townspeople find out, and they start losing. Now Eric is losing at losing. The final contest, Eric really tries to win for that 1st place ribbon. He gets 2nd place. His sister tells him he must have more 2nd place ribbons than anyone in the whole town. Eric has his revelation.

Eric will no longer be 18. This is too old I feel for a boy to be this dedicated to winning at festival games. I'm thinking now 15. He's not interested in driving or going to bars yet, so he still has a drive to win at festival games. I still don't think I want a love interests, even though 15 year old boys are most definitely interested in girls. For me, that's not the point of the story. Yeah, he can flirt with some of the girls in the town. Maybe they root for him to lose. But it's not about the girls. Having a wall of 2nd place ribbons, this is Eric's want: to be the best at something!

Whoa

This is the first time this term that I've felt overwhelmed about this project. I know there is so much good stuff here, but every good idea I have comes with a setback. I'm not discouraged, but I'm accepting the fact that the second draft will still not come close to what I expect of this project. By the third, or even the fourth draft, I believe I will finally see a very small light at the end of a long, dark tunnel.

Some good news. I had my father read the script (a person who I can trust to tell me the truth, who appreciates sci-fi, and who is capable of giving me advice on the science in the script.) We both concluded that, even though Wendy has all of this information in her head, she would not understand it. It's like when a student studies for a test and crams information into her head, and then forgets it the day after. That is not understanding, that's memorizing. Wendy is in the same situation. She has all of this information crammed into her head that she cannot understand. THIS IS A HUGE STRUGGLE for her. This is why she needs Nikki and Ardon.

I also don't want Ardon to be as nice as he was in the first draft. I want to show his struggles too. After all, when Corryn died, he was on the verge of a major scientific breakthrough, and he knows he needs Wendy's help. If Wendy refuses to help him, wouldn't he grow mad? All these years of trying to find her, and now that he has her and she's not willing to help him, how far would he go to get the answers? AND Ardon may believe that because Wendy has all of Corryn's information in her head, she can make decisions like Corryn used to. But Wendy isn't Corryn, and might also be something Ardon has to deal with. Just because Wendy has this information doesn't mean she would come to the same conclusions as Corryn would.

Lots of ideas and so little time to execute them.