Ending

As much as I think about the ending, and as much as I'd love to have it end happily, I don't think I'm keeping it this way.

For a child to be dead, that's kind of extreme to not have a punishment for Limits in the end, even if he was bullied. And btw I'm going to make the bullying much worse. I realize after reading over the script that I can make it much worse for him so that I can get the jury's sympathy. I'm going to have the jury's verdict come out as innocent, but then have the judge overrule it. What's the punishment going to be? Stay tuned...

Second Draft

I just read over Professor Kaufhold's notes (spelling and grammar are clearly not my strong points when I'm writing quickly). I made some notes on my copy. Instead of fixing the ending, I'm going to hold off on that and just work on character development. Now that I have images on paper of what I want my characters to be like, I definitely have to work on a few things, Kate and Jeff's relationship for one.

First Rough Draft

So I finished the entire script last night...and it's super long. But the good thing is, now everything is on paper and I have a basis for the story.

Because so much information comes out throughout the script, I need to eliminate things that are repeated over and over. I don't want too much coming out before the trial begins, but I also think certain things need to be saved for the trial. There are also a few things I'd like to add that builds on the characters. Right now I feel like there are very dry, so that's the first thing I'm going to tackle.

Also, about the verdict. There are two ways I saw this going when I was writing it last night. I chose the sappy yay Limits wins and all is right with the world ending, but an alternate ending I thought of was having Limits found guilty, he serves some time in prison (going for more of a realistic conclusion) and show a scene where Jayden transfers to a different school, he gives geek his "watch out" look, and the cylce continues because he has yet to be stopped. I happen to like leaving the movie theatre with a giddy feeling that everything worked out for the best, but I'm still on the fense about this one.

court

As I was writing the actual court part of the script, I had the sudden idea that maybe instead of Kate arguing Limits is innocent (since he clearly killed someone and injured two other people) I would have her change the plea that Aubrey kept telling her to take and get Aubrey to accept a plea of guilty by self defense. This would be the big turning point that leads to Act 3. Kate would argue that Limits asked for help and didn't receive none, he thought he was in danger and protected himself. She's would argue that mental abuse is just as harmful as physical abuse.

I'd have to research if whether or not this is plausible in terms of how to change a plea, when, and all the details of the self defense plea, but it's just something I've been thinking about...and this would take place before the trial starts (the day Kate gives her opening statement) depending on if that's actually legally how it's done.

Progress

Last night was the first night this break where I just kept writing without stopping. I decided whenever I run into an obstacle (something needs to be researched more, something isn't really working) I just made a note in the script or highlighted the first couple of words and then kept writing.

This first draft is going to be really long, but when the first draft is complete, I already have some ideas to make it shorter.

organizing

Today I took the time to reorganize the main plot points of my script. I wrote the first draft with Kate losing the transfer hearing my pinch 1 and introducing Amir into the picture as the midpoint, which I might keep that way, but everything after Amir needs to change. I'm not going to cut everything, but it will be moved. After Amir (or maybe the scene before he's introduced) I'd like to show Kate still worrying about her other case. I don't think she should be entirely focused on Limit's case yet, so the whole scene where she listens to the tapes won't be shows until much later.

idea!

Just thought of this today. When the teacher, Margaret Brenin (changed her last name), tells Kate that she knew about the bullying problem and so did the principal, Kate puts her on the stand. Margaret wants to do the right thing. But she fails to tell Kate that she's being let go after the school year is over. The prosecutor makes it look like the only reason she's helping Kate is to get back at the school for firing her. It also comes out that they were firing her because of her liberal views (it's a catholic school...very conservative) and that she was obviously bitter about it. After the Prosecutor's done with her, her statements lose all credibility. That's when Jeff looks for more evidence and finds it in the church books, with Margaret's help. All along they were blaming the principal for keeping the kids in the school, but they find that Father Crogan had all the control and made all the decisions, using the principal as a puppet.

Also, the conflict between Kate and Jeff occurs when Jeff pushes her to tell him about her sister, something she wants to keep suppressed. Kate was always the strong one and she believed her sister was weak, and she also believes Limits is weak too. She never forgave her sister for being weak and taking the pills, but in the end she realizes that it wasn't her sister's fault, just like it wasn't Limits' fault. They were both victims.